I am sitting here writing this post while wearing my brand-new chastity cage. I remember the first time I ever saw someone wearing one online. My first impression was it was something I’d never be into. What’s the fun in sex if you can’t get off? It’s been a few years since then and a lot has changed with me. I decided to start experimenting with chastity last year and from the first time I tried it on, I loved it. However, I never put much thought into why.
After some thought, it turns out that for me there are many reasons! I hope that in addition to being a fun exercise for myself, this post might help someone else understand better, whether that be someone curious about chastity or their open-minded partner. All I can say is that if you’re even slightly interested, do some research and try it! You just might like it. So let’s get into it; here are six reasons why I love being locked up.
Despite their imposing look, most chastity devices are actually not 100% foolproof. If you have a good fit and some extra security measures in place, escaping can be a real pain but the reality is, short of a Prince Albert piercing (yikes) or catheter (double yikes), it’s possible to slip out of most ball-trap devices with enough lube and determination.
The point I am making is for me chastity is much more mental than physical. It’s an act of complete submission to another person, in this case, my wife. As long as we are playing the chastity game, my cage feels like an extension of my wedding ring. So much as my person is “owned” by her under the rules we’ve established in our marriage, so the steel ring around my balls may as well be her literal grip on me. Under our mutual agreement, she owns them to do with or without how she chooses and for me that is a wonderful feeling. So I might be able to physically escape my cage if I absolutely wanted to, but why would I want to? As a submissive man, my wife’s approval means everything to me. Avoiding her inevitable disappointment in me breaking the rules we set is all the motivation I need to keep going.
I have self-locked as well and that can cater to the rest of the reasons below, but I started with the topic of submission on purpose. This is the primary driver of so much of my sexuality. In order to be satisfied to my fullest potential, I need to submit to her. Surrendering my orgasms, pleasure and even erections entirely under the control of my wife is one of the most powerful expressions of submission I can think of. It’s ownership on a deeper level, as if I am placing my most intimate parts in her hand to take and not let go.
I crave being sexually teased and denied. It excites my whole body, but more so my mind. Naturally, being locked up enhances that play to an extreme. Not being able to get a simple erection is only the beginning; many other sweet tortures could await, such as her tongue prodding through the openings of the cage or her ready pussy grinding on me, so close yet so far away, all the while the key to my freedom dangling teasingly around her neck. After a long sex session focused entirely on her pleasure, she could lovingly pat my denied penis and take even more satisfaction in stretching my discipline one more night.
She would not be the only one sexually satisfied though. If sex is just an orgasm scoreboard then yes, I just lost. However sex for me is much more than that; it’s something deep inside my head. I’m like any other guy. My penis craves fucking and cumming and feels frustrated when it can’t, but when it finally gets what it wants, the fun is over. The drive to pursue my wife is, at least for the moment, gone. My body is void of all the sexual anticipation that was there before. Thankfully, the wires in my brain take frustration, desire, tease, denial and synthesize them all into sexual pleasure. In not getting an orgasm that night, I would be sexually satisfied. Instead, we’d focus on connecting emotionally, the drive for me still there. We’d cuddle, talk and touch in other ways, fulfilling my emotional and intimate needs. We’d go to sleep closer than we were before, all because I gave my wife the decision of my release and she said no.
My frustrated, desperate, leaking penis and aching balls become her handiwork. Every time my excitement starts to rise, the steel ring starts to feel tighter, my penis starts to fill with nowhere to go and presses tight in all directions, my entire groin embodies burning pressure and it’s as if my wife is saying “No, not yet.” The sensation turns my focus back to her. I enjoy denial because it makes me feel like I belong to, the one denying me, my wife, and that she owns me. I love that feeling.
Few bonds are more powerful than that of a man’s with his penis. Becoming excited and erect, stroking, fucking and finally ejaculating are core to the male experience. I can speak from experience that removing all of those things does something to my male psyche. It removes me from a common experience shared by all men and that turns out to be a very powerful emasculation tool. In case it isn’t clear by now, I love being made to feel that way.
There’s something powerfully humiliating about hearing other men at the urinals while you sit in the stall because you have no other choice. Watching porn changes into something completely different too. Whereas before every image of an erect penis being sucked or fucked was a fantasy of potential, now it is only a brutal reminder of something you can’t do. His thick, throbbing erection is just a reminder of how sexually unviable I am compared to him in my current state. Every lick and stroke screams “Not for you” and makes me feel like I’m looking in at a party through the window from outside, and while that might sound sad, it feels amazing because that is where my partner put me. Perhaps I might even spy her with someone else!
Being caged for any period of time changes your relationship with your penis to the point that it’s almost as if you don’t have one. You kind of forget what it’s like to get hard and masturbate and that just makes the eventual release that much more satisfying. It’s a re-discovery of manhood again and it feels significantly better after a period of zero stimulation at all. As someone who also likes small penis humiliation, I enjoy that chastity keeps me even smaller than I’d normally be. I like that in a cage, my penis is truly useless. That will bring the strongest of men to their knees.
Simply put, I just enjoy the feeling of the cage on me. It does take the body some getting used to for the first few times. Use lube or lotion around the ring in the beginning to prevent burning and chafing on the skin. However, once your body adapts and the slight discomfort subsides, chastity is nothing but comfortable (unless you want to make it otherwise). I enjoy the snug sensation that I feel around my penis when it tries to get excited, especially how it presses at the end. The majority of time locked up though is spent soft, leaving nothing but the weight of the device which I find satisfying.
Aesthetic is important for me too and played a large part in what I selected for my first steel cage (pictured). My favorite elements about it are the solid section on the bottom and the shape of the hole in the front which is just striking to me. My favorite view of any cage is always the front, where the partially-obscured “face” of my penis peeks out from. My preference is to have this be the only part visible, however a totally-enclosed design presents hygiene issues in the hot climate I live in. The cage I wear now is a balance of coverage and breathable that I’m satisfied with.
I like having a dirty little secret, don’t you? The fact is that having something different on under your clothes that no one else knows about is exciting. I like seeing how I look in the mirror with just my cage on. It’s like a unique and interesting piece of jewelry that makes a statement, even if it’s just to myself. It’s not why I do it, but the fact that it makes me feel a little different, maybe even a little out there, is something I enjoy. Decoupling my penis from my manhood is an interesting experiment as well. If getting off to your wife’s escapades with others is a male taboo, then I think letting your wife control your penis is in a similar vein – no pun intended!
Chastity doesn’t have to be all fun and games – there are practical benefits too! I love sex a lot and think about sexuality a lot but this can be problematic when my mind should be somewhere else. There are times when I can focus for a few days without release but others when a two or three times per day binge is not uncommon. There’s no other way to say it: it’s cheap “sex” driven more by boredom and procrastination than anything else. The people who end up paying for it in time is my family, especially my wife. So when I hand her the key, it might just be for fun, accountability, or both. No matter what the priority is though, not having unfettered access to look at porn and masturbate multiple times per day undoubtedly gives me more focus and makes my life better. I’m more present with my family, more driven to be attentive to my wife and even have more energy.
All Locked Up
Chastity is incredibly versatile. It can be a sweet and playful game; a kinky power exchange; spicy humiliation play; just straight-up practical; or any combination of these! If you’re curious about trying it, I encourage you to explore in a way that’s right for you! If you already enjoy playing with chastity, I’d love to hear your own take on it. Have fun and happy locking!